Funny Business: Pastor hole in one

I’ve got a meeting with the guy that invented the progress bar during the era of dialup internet. He’s going to be here in 2 hours and 13 minutes.

Edit: Apparently he’s stuck in traffic and he’s going to be here in 6 hours 54 minutes.

Edit 2: He’s making better progress than thought, he will be here in 12 minutes.

Edit 3: Apparently it will now take him 5 days.

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An elementary school teacher was meeting her new class. She pointed to one student and asked “What does your father do for a living?”

The boy said “My father’s a magician! He has a new act that ends with sawing people in half.”

“That’s wonderful!” said the teacher. “And do you have any siblings?”

“Yes,” said the boy- “I have a half brother and a half sister.”

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Two elderly couples have their weekly meet up at a table in their local park. They take a seat, the ladies chat with one another across the table, as do the gents.

Fred asks Harold, “Are you still going to that memory clinic?”

Harold says, “Yes, it’s been helping my memory a lot, I recommend you come along to our next session.”

“What do they do there?” asks Fred.

“They teach us to remember things through word association.” replies Harold.

Fred says, “I might have to give it a try, what’s the name of the clinic?”

Harold pauses for a while, trying to remember.

He says, “Ummm, ahh, hang on... um... what’s the name of that beautiful flower, the one that has thorns?”

Fred says, “That’d be a rose, Harold.”

Harold turns to his wife and says “Rose! What’s the name of that clinic I go to?”

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A pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf. He told his assistant that he wasn’t feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.

He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried is an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.

An angel looked at God and said “What’d you do that for?”

God smiled and said “Who’s he going to tell?”