Funny Stories: If they laugh, you’re young
A school teacher in Hyderabad was once asked, “Can you make a sentence without using ‘E’?”
“I doubt I can. It’s a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It’s as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing to Russia without a boat, washing your hands without soap. And, anyway, what would I gain? An award? A cash bonus? Bragging rights? Why should I strain my brain? It’s not worth it.”
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How to find out if you’re old or not:
Fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you’re young.
If they panic, you’re old.
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Sitting on the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car puttering along at 22 MPH.
He thinks to himself, that car is just as dangerous as a speeder. So, he turns his lights on and pulls the car over.
Approaching the car, he notices there are 5 old ladies, two at the front and 3 at the back, wide eyed and looking like ghosts.
The driver obviously confused said, “Officer, I don’t understand, I wasn’t doing over the speed limit!, What seems to be the problem?”
“Ma’am,” the officer said, “you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous”.
“Slower than the speed limit? NO SIR! I was doing exactly 22 miles an hour”, the old woman said proudly.
The officer containing a chuckle explains that 22 was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned, thanking the officer for pointing out her error.
“Before I go Ma’am, I have to ask, is everyone OK? These women seem badly shaken and haven’t uttered a word all this time”
“Oh! they will be alright in a minute, Officer, we just got off Route 142.”
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Three tourists climbed up the tower with London’s Big Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground.
The first tourist threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken three steps. The second threw his watch and made only two steps before hearing his watch shatter.
The third tourist threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs, bought a snack at a shop up the street and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the watch.
“How did you do that?” asked one of his friends.
“My watch is 30 minutes slow.”
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Noted archeologist Fred Flintstein made an amazing discovery today in Sweden. He found remains of some primitive musical instrument and a small deposit of fossilized excrement. when asked about what they signified, Fred Flintstein replied: “A dab o’ ABBA doo.”